She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
