I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
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