How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
