i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
