I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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