You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Randomize
