I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
