it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
