Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
