dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
