you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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