HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
