This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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