you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
