I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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