How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
