Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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