so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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