so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
