the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
