I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
