Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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