I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
