Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
