And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Randomize