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I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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