i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
