He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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