i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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