Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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