She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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