don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
