my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
