kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
