Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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