Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
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