So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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