I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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