She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
