You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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