I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize