I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Randomize
