evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
