I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
