i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
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you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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