Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
