Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
