So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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