I can text with my tongue
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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