I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
