Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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