I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
