He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
People in love make me want to vomit
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
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