Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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