his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
