Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
