One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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