Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
