and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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