I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
