apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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